Meet Emily, a high powered architect, who has been madly in love with her hunky glass blower boyfriend for 4 years. The first time she comes for an intuitive session she wants to discuss her relationship; her sweetie is battling a mysterious illness that is making them grow apart. She returns 2 years later to let me know that he has passed from cancer.
I know this story is a tearjerker. But it’s also real life. The gems here are plenty. Pay extra attention to how they both got to talk about their meaning to each other, in this life and beyond. It’s a rare and sacred opportunity to experience this couples story. Emily & KC were enlightened enough to discuss the process and reflect while in the situation.
Click the podcast image below to listen. We are also available on itunes, googleplay or siticher just subscribe to Love Requited XXXtcetera.
On Nov 8th, in Vermont, I will be seeing clients for private sessions. That evening we teach a Joan of Arc micro-course. If you are in the area or have a friend who is, please pass the info along or sign up yourself! Learn more here.
I was visiting a friend for dinner when she lit her handmade New England oil lamp. I fell right in love. I came home and told my partner about it. Bri went to UNH and loved her time in New England. She tells me everything’s “cozy” there. My oil lamp crush was making me think she was right. When she got invited to speak in Montreal at the International Outdoor Adventure Conference, we got the idea to make our way down. It’s a New England tour I am very excited about. Hopefully I’m just in time to see the fall colors. I have sweet clients and friends who will be putting us up in Vermont and one of them, Dr. Sarah Wylie is hosting me at her clinic Red Blossom Medicine.
One of my amazing students recommended Clarissa Pinkola Estes’s lecture, Warming the Stone Child. Towards the end of Estes’s talk, she asks the listener: What was your favorite fairytale or story as a child? Did the story have a negative or positive ending? Consider this story is your own person myth. That it has in some way laid a foundation for what you believe about your life. It’s neither good nor bad, just acknowledge it has had some influence. This was such a profound moment for me. My own favorite story was Cinderella. I loved the glamor and the magic of this story. It has indeed been imprinted on my psyche. So I took it apart to see the different themes that ran thru my life. Then I began to rewrite the story as an affirmation. I don’t want to live outdated programming that is toxic. It has been a powerful exercise. I highly recommend it. It costs you nothing to ask yourself these questions and then to sit for a bit and re-write it.
As a child my story was Cinderella, as a teenager it was Pretty Woman. Imagine that! Same fucking story!
The positive, you are magical and beautiful despite what you have been through. You should fight for your place in the world and who says those hard working girls in poverty don’t deserve a fabulous night out! I could go on and on. I am looking at what this story taught me about my strength and power and also how did it limit me. Please try it. Maybe at your next dinner party? My partner does this thing where you tell her your favorite ice-cream and she “reads” it. Tells you all about your inner most thoughts via the ice cream flavor analysis. I make her do it at dinner parties for fun. Maybe you can do this one instead.
My deep Cinderella thoughts:
Cinderella endures loss, grief and there is plenty of misunderstanding of who she is. A total loss of loving parents and her identity. When faced with darkness she remains noble, hard working and humble. She endures oppression, scarcity and rises up eventually because the shoe fits. She has secret animal friends that love her and she’s good at finding joy and love wherever she can. Then she’s tricked into thinking she can attend the ball. It’s a cruel trick! I remember those cruel tricks played on me in childhood. Do you have those too? When I was all open-hearted, in my vulnerability and then it turned into feeling humiliated.
Cinderella lost her identity: Her name was changed because she had to sleep in the fireplace to keep warm and she was always dirty.
My name was so difficult for people to say as a kid I remember always feeling like my name was from another world.
I loved the fairy godmother part. In her darkest hour she has an angel that appears. When I was abandoned by my traveling companion in a foreign country because I wouldn’t have sex with him at the age of 19, I had my first experience with angelic help. It enabled me to tap into an inner strength, to hold my principles and self love in place as I navigated my way home to the US. I was scared. And when my mother died (I was 23), I asked a dear friend if she would be my GodMother. Her name is Maria and her home became a safe haven when I left my abusive husband at 26 years of age. Maria’s home, like the dress Cinderella wore that evening, had an expiration date and soon I needed to make my own place in the world. I had two wonderful women Marci and Theresa that both lent me money to pay for that divorce. This is my Cinderella story. My fairy Godmothers have been there for me.
The part about the shoe fitting? The glass slipper? That’s the incognito part of my life. People often think I am younger and not very wise when they meet me. I have a history of not being seen. (I bet you can relate.) This Cinderella story influenced my incognito part. She shows up at the ball and no one knows she’s really a total badass, they think she’s a “lady”.
When I was pregnant with my second child, two new acquaintances were chatting with me about being pregnant and being a mother. They offered unsolicited advice for about 45 minutes. All the while they have never asked me if this was my first child. People just see me and assume I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing. It happens to me ALL the time. (I’m almost 40 and it still happens.) I listened kindly and reflected back to them their own experiences, until they felt thoroughly seen and heard. Suddenly one of them realizes, they never asked me if this is my first child. I answered, “This is my second, I have a nine year old.” They were shocked as they both had one child under the age of mine. So if anything they should have been asking me questions. I have learned over the years to let people think whatever they need to think about me.
I know you might be reading this and thinking, ‘But you are Liliana Barzola, I come to you all the time for advice. How is it possible the world doesn’t see you?’
I refuse to fall into the game of proving myself. Aren’t you tired of this old trick? I am.
It used to make me sad. Now it makes me laugh. It’s funny to me. I embody the goddess and I know it. That’s all that matters at this point in my life.
Recently, my partner and I walked into a New Age shop full of crystals. A very arrogant woman at the counter treated me like I had no idea what I was doing there. She felt spiritually superior and made it known to me that she was full of intuition and magic and that I was a measly muggle. I said nothing and just let her feel her spiritual superiority over me. When we left my partner was furious. ‘She has no idea who you are! That’s like Michael Jackson walks into a music studio and some kid behind the counter starts giving him music tips. WFT!?!?’
I am a polar bear and she is a kitten. I don’t need to roar unless there is danger. People see my light and are threatened. I feel for them. That’s not for me to teach them. I’m off of work. If someone thinks I’m a boring and one dimensional that’s fine with me. They can make an appointment to work through their insecurity.
So what is your version of your favorite story? How has it influenced your life?If you want to play around with this project I made you a worksheet click here.
How do you get inspired? Sometimes inspiration strikes us, spontaneously occurring in unpredictable places; words scribbled on the back of a worn receipt you’ve been carrying around for months. Or is it a song lyric, a quote you heard on a Love: Requited Podcast episode? Maybe it’s an auditory memory during a rainstorm, or an echo of genuine laughter originating from the mouths of your dear ones, perhaps a savory meal.
Staying inspired does NOT need to feel like an accident or a burden but rather, with participation in our Joan of Arc Series. Staying inspired can re-claim it’s rightful place as after hours entertainment! Lotus Lantern Healing Arts invites you to expand your post 5 o’clock horizons, to go beyond mid-summer’s familiar outposts of netflix and romance novels. Click here to sign up now!
We want to give you a little taste with this video. We discuss the power of nature, ritual, love and pleasure. Get it while it’s hawt! Click here to watch!
One Participant Says:
I loved the blend of Liliana and Bri’s teaching styles, both of which are spiritual and thought provoking in different ways. The information, stories and meditations have helped me feel supported during a difficult work transition.
Who the heck is Bri Condon and why do I care? She’s an executive coach, entrepreneurial wizard and parent coach.
She has been a program director, operations manager and an executive director for a variety of agencies. Recently she broke ground in the State of Oregon. By creating opportunities for teens in foster care to surf the Oregon Coast. Bri Condon has worked inside and around DHS Child Welfare programming in Oregon since 2008. Bri holds a B.S in Outdoor Education focusing on struggling populations as well as a Masters Degree in Risk Management in Adventure Programming.
I have been helping people heal from heartache for 16 years and the topic of unrequited love comes back like a game of wackamole. Just when you think you’ve helped someone heal from the wounds of unrequited love…it’s like a plague; it can resurface subtly or aggressively on any given day. You may be grieving a cherished one that has died, or you may be grieving someone that is fully alive yet they have chosen a life without you. What degree of abandonment has caused your suffering? Even people in happy, committed relationships inevitably ask me questions about a past lover.
“Why didn’t it work out?”
“How could they leave me?”
“Is there a chance they will come back”
“Why didn’t I see it coming?”
Bri has been pushing me to launch my podcast for 2 whole years. So here it is… a podcast for you about love and life, stories of unconventional, untethered and sometimes unreturned love. Let the healing begin! This is for mature audiences only.
Love Requited XXXcetera: A podcast about love and life, stories of unconventional, untethered and sometimes unreturned love.
This 4-week session is wholeheartedly based on Joan of Arc. Allow us to guide you into the soul of this ancient archetype and you will draw strength in these times of overwhelm and confusion. Hence our subtitle, “Strength and Power in What Feels Like The Final Hour”. We really mean it, and she did too.
Join Bri & Liliana for this fun adventure series as we explore the time landscape of the 15th century, how dysfunction type casts health, the unapologetic and kick ass nature of Joan of Arc, and ultimately how you too can RIGHT THE LIGHT by leveraging the teachings of elders who are no longer among us.
Joan of Arc used her intuition, temperament, non-binary understanding of gender, her strategic mind, and courageous heart to overturn a disaster that was already upon her people, at the final moment of what could easily have been defeat.
Wanna listen in to a raw and vulnerable Saturday night at my house? In this video me and my sweetie discuss: Polarity, sex, how we define words differently, Del Taco and who’s wrong in an argument.
I was a little jealous of all the business consulting Bri was doing for my clients. So, I asked her for 12 hours of consulting. Her work blew my mind! She created solutions for problems I had been wrestling with for years. She did strategic planning, team building and executive coaching (supervision) for me. She challenged me and made me laugh a lot.
Bri’s work is for:
Entrepreneurs and Agencies
-Executive Coaching: Professional supervision and support for executives, managers or staff.
-Strategic Planning: Intentional program and business development, design, development, implementation and sustainability. Innovate current offerings or guidance for future endeavors.
-Training and workshop facilitation
Personal Development and Growth
Personal Coaching: For individuals looking to accelerate their own healing, growth and stability.
If you want to learn more about her services click here and scroll down to her bio.
This world is under construction…breaking down to create space for new structures. Are you looking at the state of our world in disbelief? The shock doesn’t seem to wear off, does it? What is being asked of you seems totally fucked. You can’t take anything with you that is outdated and doesn’t work for you…even if you REALLY, REALLY want to.
Here’s why: This Thursday the moon brims full in the sign of Cancer.
Full moon stirs emotions and Cancer rules emotional intensity, bringing to the surface all the fear and dread that lies in our pain bodies. This Cancer energy has a churning lament (Oh goodie). This is obviously not an easy trek. It demands a lot of us.
The good news is that Cancer is as nurturing as she is demanding. She challenges you to “own your shit” and when you break down she hugs you.
Cancer rules the mother, breast and the belly…nourishment with love and good food.
Full moon in Cancer says, “You have to go out into the harsh terrain now and it’s ALSO shitty weather conditions. But, here’s a magical backpack to take with you. You have everything you could possibly need inside of it.” She kicks you out of her nest knowing full well you are capable, yet still in need of her support.
As you embark on the journey you may fear the unknown, you are a map-less child. You may dread leaving the comfort and warmth of your position to navigate a fucked up terrain. You will cuss her and the hellaciously heavy backpack she gave you the first mile in. Then you will kneel down in frustration, open the pack she gave you and weep.
Her backpack is full of magical tricks, practical and mystical tools all uniquely chosen for you and your journey. MAMMA KNOWS!
Access her help now with this meditation: Owning Your Tools
Imagine you have a container filled to the brim with tools for your journey. Maybe it’s a backpack, a treasure box, a toolbox and medicine bag. Whatever floats your boat.
What the fuck is in there? Open that sucker up and access your tools this instant with your imagination.
Do you have an invisibility cloak? (Try it on)
Super human strength? (Flex your muscles)
A warm cuddly blanket? (Wrap yourself up in it)
Honey and a warm cup of tea? (Let it warm your hands, take a sip)
A bow and arrow? (Nock the arrow, raise and draw)
A stunningly-beautiful-ass-kicking sword? (Feel that sucker in your hands, wave it around.)
Ground your tools
Clean them off
Bring them into present time
Every time you shoot off your mouth, giving advice, you might be giving away your tools. Those of us who have tricks and tools and magic don’t run our mouths about it. So you shouldn’t either. Sit quietly and discover what powers lie within. Your container is filled with all the magic and wisdom you need.
Your trek can transform from a scary undesirable experience to one filled with magic and play. You can begin to feel nourished with each new obstacle you blast to smithereens. And along the way you can experience a reunion with your ancestors, your soulmates, your family, your lost loved ones and all the teachers of your forgotten past. You will remember who you are.
Intuitive Development Courses:
Wanna learn to do cool stuff with me?
Defense Against the Dark Arts Start April 3rd. Email to learn about this one: email@example.com