Lotus Lantern Healing Arts

Master Your Intuitive Gifts


The Dark Series: Episode One

Over this next week I am planning to send out a little bit of writing about the things that live in the shadows.

You know how you see all that gross sludge and slime when you replace a filter? I’m thinking about my human filter.

When my filter get so flooded by what I see and experience in the world (#trumpadministration #metoo) I stop being able to take any information in. I can’t even take in positive things because the permeable mechanism that separates good and evil is no longer functioning. In the name of self preservation there are times that I have opted for a total system shut-down.

Do you feel me?

Is your filter clogged with slime?
Has your health been contaminated by darkness?
If so, you are not alone. We can band together to keep from being re-programmed by darkness.

When the presidential reins pass to the next administration (whenever that happens) we need to be ready with our sparkling new filters, so we can navigate our way to open pasture. But we can’t wait for another administration to take over, right? We aren’t going to be saved. We can’t wait for equality, empowerment or diversity of thought. Saving ourselves means making our moves right now, by showing up locally, being present and vocal.

Begin where you begin. We need to build and harness collective momentum so that just as a cartoon character jumps and gets their legs going in mid- air to PREPARE for the all out sprint, we also can be free to take off in a moments notice when the time is right.

What does my Joan of Arc Series have to do with water filters, cartoon athletes, and the dysfunctional slime that has been running rampant in our everyday environments? See Figure J below:

Joan of Arc provides the filter.

I live in a VERY conservative, religious, judgmental small town. And guess how much showing up I have to do as a woman of color in love with another woman? A lot!

Liliana at the bookstore: I’m listening to a teenage girl try in earnest to explain a Malcolm Gladwell podcast that she found enlightening to two teenage boys who are so indoctrinated in misogyny they can’t understand her experience. She is wildly more intelligent and mature beyond her years. It is painful watching what gets reflected back to her via these two bozos. She is unseen. I smiled at her knowingly. I see her. I know what she’s talking about. She smiles back, her mood changes. She knows I see her. On my way out I see another teenage girl wearing a hat that says, “Nasty Woman”. (Something that would make my friend Roxanne Jackson so proud.) She is sitting behind the counter and listening to music on her headphones. She is making a statement. Our eyes meet and she gets my second smile. She smiles back at me with full teeth and full pride. This is our movement and these are the simple ways we keep the momentum going. The kids out here are openly struggling to follow their hearts and I’m here to see them and encourage them, with my presence and my voice.

Liliana at the hardware store: They just re-opened the hardware stores. It’s been closed for a year. That is a really bad thing to not have access to in a sleepy, snowy mountain town. There I am walking hand in hand with my lover. Many people are staring nervously at us. My partner sees a man eyeing barbecues and starts to give him some advice, when another man comes into the conversation who most likely has never barbecued, cutting her off and taking over entirely. I watch as Bri is suddenly ignored, disrespected and unseen. She is such a big and powerful person to see her with these idiots makes my blood boil. I watch her strength elevated in her ability to walk away calmly, knowing she can cook better than both of them put together. Ha, Ha! We aren’t leaving. We shop here and we still make our presence seen and known to the bigoted shoppers. It takes daily courage to be here.

I know you are making a difference too. You are not alone. We out number them. We have power. They try to force. May the power of the force be with us.

Joan of Arc Series Begins Now Click Here


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Abstract and mysterious background of blurred forest. Filtered image. Halloween concept

Understanding the Astral Realm to Subdue Panic in the Night

Trapped in the turmoil of a dark, oppressive dream, I woke to the sound of my own screams.

I could feel my partner’s voice and presence trying to break through but couldn’t locate her or myself in the moment. Was she in the dream time or on earth? Am I in the dream or on earth?

We were both sleeping at a friend’s house on our recent trip to Vermont. As the earthly room came into view, I catapulted myself into her arms, gasping for air and sobbing.

“Honey, you are dreaming. You are okay. You are safe,” she said calmly and firmly.

I couldn’t speak. 80% of me was still in the astral trauma zone. With the air hunger, all I could muster was, “I NEED my mountain air. I Can’t breathe.” I longed for our little cabin in the woods back home in my mountains.

“We have that here too,” Bri said calmly. She thrust open the window with a whipping force and gently pressed my entire body towards the window tilting my head into the fresh mountain air. I’m not light as a feather but in her arms it feels like it. She is all muscle, brute force and soft flannel against me. I breath in delicious salvation. Oh my! Thank the goddess, she’s right!

“I was dreaming about my mom,” I told her. “She was horrible to me in it. She was shaming me and telling me what a horrible daughter I was. It was a terrible, horrible feeling. My real mother would NEVER, EVER say those things to me.”

My mother has been dead 14 years. I still miss her. She was a nurturing and kind woman. The kind of selfless mother people dream about. And when my baby was 1 year old and I was 23, she died suddenly of an aneurysm. Sadly, I diagnosed her bleeding brain, but it was too late for her at that point. My postpartum process, new motherhood and her death were all tangled together for me from this point forward.

As my heart pace slowed, my breath deepened, my voice returned. I was trying to scramble out of the pain. Bri held me closely as I cried.

“Why would you get such a terrible dream about her? That is so unfair.” Bri protested. Bri is my “why” person. She is religiously committed to justice and fairness on earth and everywhere else. She never stops asking “why”. And her “why’s” are passionate. These are never soft questions, they are forceful, inquisitive commentary. This world will be a better place while she’s here. She commands it so. It’s sweet and also heartbreaking when I don’t have a clear answer for her or myself. Why the fuck do I finally get a dream about my mother and it’s a totally abusive pile of shit?!?!?

So here is the best explanation that I can give for “why” this happens. When a loved one transforms from their earthly body to the astral realm it’s like they are going home. Many native cultures believe that we are visiting from the dream-time (astral). That the dream time is the “real world”. The astral realm is a literal blueprint for our physical realm (what I call University Earth). This means that we are thought of and formed in the astral as a blueprint and then manifest to earth. Energy follows intention and then becomes matter. If you are building a home you start from a blue-print, you sketch it out. Then you build it. The universe is exactly this.

So when you wake up each morning on earth you are coming back from your time in the astral. You do your morning rituals, then have your coffee or tea and are fully here. Well, imagine that in the death process your spirit wakes up fully in the astral realm just in the same way.

When a person dies most of their energy lifts into the astral and some of their denser energy takes longer to process and lift up. This is why ancient cultures cremate bodies, to help the spirit lift up easier. This is why so many cultures spend so much time praying and helping those going home. It helps the living and the dead to do this. Home is not a foreign place. It is a loving and familiar place. You don’t lose your personality, your being or your favorite ice cream flavor. You are still you. Suddenly, you find that you can be in many places at once. On earth you can’t be in many places at once. (Unless you are on the internet, but don’t even get me started on the internet and telepathic communication. We will be here all day!)

So in the case of my nightmare, a part of my mother was still here trapped; a dense and unconscious part of her soul hadn’t lifted up. I ran into it. It was a real bitch to me. But this allowed my to mother to locate her lost part (with my help) and so I spent the rest of the night crying, praying and asking my mother’s true soul self (the enlightened part of her) to come clean up the mess and integrate that portion of her that was angry back into her entirety.

The second part to this, is that there is a real battle that goes on between the dark and the light on earth and in the astral realm. (Like Donald Trump) This is why it’s so important to understand the veil between the astral and physical realms and not fall prey to the shadow (see previous parenthesis). The darkness wants me to believe I am worthless, that my mother doesn’t love me, etc. However, I know that is a lie. So it takes me deeper into meditation to understand why I am dreaming this stuff up.

In my B-Boundaries class we talk about the astral and physical realms and how they fit together.

We also work heavily with guardians and protectors so that you have a team to call in. I was lucky to have my conscious, physical partner there with me. But I knew also, how to call in my team of guardians. You will too if you join in class B-Boundaries Click here to learn more. It starts this Thursday! (The pre-req is class A-Alignment.)

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I wanna make you cozy!!!


Today I’m celebrating two of my favorite people: My daughter and my fiancé.

There are three parts to this email so hop down to the one you want.

Paragraphs below explain and the links are here:

1. The best cozy holiday blog ever! It’s gonna make you laugh and smile.

2. Bri’s story

3. My daughter’s bedtime story

1. Two of my loveliest friends moved their sweet little family to Sweden! You can’t miss this blog. I hear people say all the time that they want to move out of the country because of our gross and disgusting president. Well, what if you actually did it?!? And you had two little kids in tow and you had to figure everything out from the mail to parking to laundry. Below are my two favorite post to get you started but I do recommend scrolling all the way down to the beginning! Trust me you are going to be snuggled into bed tonight and reading…this it’s sooooo good! You’re gonna learn, you’re gonna laugh and you will be inspired.

Fav posts: Mail and Package Delivery and Works!?!?

2. I made a little story about Bri and her business consultation practice. My “stuck” clients have been growing leaps and bounds under her badass support. Watch the video to see her playfulness and her fire. Both are useful for getting shit done! Her practice has been booming. After she caught her breath, I made her sit down to share what people have been signing up for. (Whether you have a 9-5 job and need professional support or you are in the middle of launching an entrepreneurial project Bri can be your secret weapon too.)

3. ’tis the season for cozy. My daughter and I wrote a chapter book last winter (Illustrations by Josie Coleman) and then made it into a little movie. We sell this on the website and have gotten wonderful feedback. WE WANT TO SHARE IT FOR FREE RIGHT NOW. If you have kids we hope you will share it with them and enjoy it yourself. If you don’t have kids then let us read you a whimsical bedtime story.

Recommended for kids between the age of 5 and 10 and for the kid in you.

This book opens a dialogue between you and your child.
-Following your intuition
-Using your breath to self soothe.
-The power of believing in magic.
-That nature and herbs can be used to heal our bodies.
-That nature still speaks to us.

Watch for free here


Email at liliana@lotuslantern.org and let us know if you liked our bedtime story, Gabriella would love to know. Comment on my friends Advent blog if it makes you laugh. Send me an email if you are interested in getting connected with Bri for business stuff.

Happy Holidays to you!

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Morning Breath

Energetics of Sex (My personal story)

We had a wonderful time in New England. I got to spend time with clients I’ve never met in-person and make new friends and clients. In my last letter I told you that our trip was originally inspired by a pewter oil lamp made by the Danforth family in Vermont. I had hoped we would get to stop into their workshop. While I was driving us thru Vermont, I told my fiancé, Bri, “I am just gonna follow my heart and see where the car takes us.” This might not sound like a mighty request, however, if you knew how directionally challenged I am you would understand how crazy this sounds. Especially since Bri was a wilderness guide in her previous life. Bri’s identity is built on transporting people safely through all kinds of terrain and conditions; planning, calculating and navigating from more than your heart. But…she is a total badass so of course she fully supported me in this. And I’m pretty sure she made careful observations of where my heart was leading us from that point on. Ha, Ha!

And guess what I did? I drove us right to the Danforth workshop!!! NO MAP REQUIRED! I couldn’t believe it. (And neither could she.)

If you follow me on Instagram you can see the video we took while there. This company is family owned and the workers there are really wonderful people. While we were there we fell in love with their spinning toy tops made out of pewter. They have names like: Ballet, Breakdance and Cha Cha, because of their awesome moves. They told us the story of how their tops came to be. A story that has inspired me to birth a new class series. When Fred Danforth first started his company he had a dream to make pewter spinning toy tops. But he wasn’t allowed to. The tops were too costly to make, too hard to get to spin. So the money managers made him give up. (This is a really awesome story because it illustrates so much of what entrepreneurs go thru.) So after 20 years, Fred said, “Screw you all, I’m doing it anyway.” And his tops are amazing top sellers! (pun intended) That story made me cry. Like it literally made me cry.

I have something I’ve been stewing on for at least 25 years and I’m about to reveal it. When I was a 19 year old college student, I had made a new friend in my Intro to Genetics class. During our first study session and out of the blue she asked, “Do you think I’ve ever had an orgasm?” I looked at her over my class notes and said, “No. If you have to ask, then you have never had one. You would absolutely know if you had.” This made me so sad because she was a married woman and older than I was. I should explain that this kind of shit was happening to me since I was 15. Girls and women asked me questions about their body and their sex lives.

Over the years women have said:

  • I have never had a partner go slow with me, is there something wrong with me?
  • I don’t know what turns me on.
  • I think I am sexually broken.
  • I feel ashamed when I feel pleasure.
  • I really want my partner to just take me and be assertive, but I’m waiting and that moment never comes.
  • I just wait for sex to be over, is that normal?

Women were settling for mediocre and bad sex. That was not sensual pleasure. That was madness! Yes, I was open about pleasure and nonjudgmental but I could still feel all the nerve they must have worked up to talk with me about their concerns. When I started my energy healing practice I was more excited than ever to tackle this stuff. Because now women where asking me and I got to help them clear the programming, fear and shame that blocked their exploration into pleasure.

Is it my culture? I was raised by a South American mother who embraced her body and sensual energy and didn’t believe in shame. It still blows my mind how there are only two options in the United States. You are either super oppressed and don’t want to talk about it at all or you are a total slut and you just sit around watching porn all day. Well, I don’t think either of those archetypes are even real. There is a a lot of beauty in keeping your sexual and sensual energy private and quite. That is totally hot! But as long as you find freedom in that way of being.

I rage against the oppression and shame that people put on me. My entire life, well meaning women have pulled a bra strap up for me that was falling down and said, “Oh honey, fix yourself!” Now, I don’t mean my entire breast was hanging out. I mean that my bra strap had momentarily fallen. Maybe it had fallen because I was crawling around on the floor with my kid, or I had just picked something up. I was in that place between where it had slid off my shoulder underneath my tank top and right before I was about to slide the strap up. It has never made ME nervous, but apparently the fear that one of my breast might just pop out is terrifying to some people. (I bet right about now you’re trying to figure out how we got from oil lamps to boobs.) Or maybe they can see my underwear line or my bra under my shirt. Over the years it has made me so angry. Now, I say something like, “Be happy I’m even wearing a bra.” or “Be happy I’m wearing panties.” or sometimes I just say, “Fuck off!” Either way I hate passive aggressive behavior put on me because other people are uncomfortable with my body. But really they are uncomfortable with their own body, their own sense of being. I have really vibrant creative energy and I’m like a freaking spotlight when I’m walking around the planet. I fully embrace it. I am me!

Here it is! Ta da: Feminista: The Energetics of Sex and Sensuality for the Fem. I am doing 5 nights of live 90 min classes on this topic. Please pass along the information to anyone your think might enjoy this. If you cannot attend but want the information you can purchase now and on the 20th everyone who has signed up will receive recordings of all the classes. I am also making it super affordable because I really want you to give this to yourself. This is for anyone who identifies with feminine expression of sensual energy.

So there you have it! Because Fred Danforth finally makes pewter spinning tops, I am finally teaching my class series on the joy of sensual and sexual play. THANKS FRED!!!! Click here to learn about the series.

And thanks for reading this, Liliana



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“Tearjerker” should be the name of my latest podcast.

Meet Emily, a high powered architect, who has been madly in love with her hunky glass blower boyfriend for 4 years. The first time she comes for an intuitive session she wants to discuss her relationship; her sweetie is battling a mysterious illness that is making them grow apart. She returns 2 years later to let me know that he has passed from cancer.

I know this story is a tearjerker. But it’s also real life. The gems here are plenty. Pay extra attention to how they both got to talk about their meaning to each other, in this life and beyond. It’s a rare and sacred opportunity to experience this couples story. Emily & KC were enlightened enough to discuss the process and reflect while in the situation.

Click the podcast image below to listen. We are also available on itunes, googleplay or siticher just subscribe to Love Requited XXXtcetera.

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“Liliana, Meet New England.”

On Nov 8th, in Vermont, I will be seeing clients for private sessions. That evening we teach a Joan of Arc micro-course. If you are in the area or have a friend who is, please pass the info along or sign up yourself! Learn more here.

It all started with an oil lamp.

I was visiting a friend for dinner when she lit her handmade New England oil lamp. I fell right in love. I came home and told my partner about it. Bri went to UNH and loved her time in New England. She tells me everything’s “cozy” there. My oil lamp crush was making me think she was right. When she got invited to speak in Montreal at the International Outdoor Adventure Conference, we got the idea to make our way down. It’s a New England tour I am very excited about. Hopefully I’m just in time to see the fall colors. I have sweet clients and friends who will be putting us up in Vermont and one of them, Dr. Sarah Wylie is hosting me at her clinic Red Blossom Medicine.

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Rewriting The Fairytale

One of my amazing students recommended Clarissa Pinkola Estes’s lecture, Warming the Stone Child. Towards the end of Estes’s talk, she asks the listener: What was your favorite fairytale or story as a child? Did the story have a negative or positive ending? Consider this story is your own person myth. That it has in some way laid a foundation for what you believe about your life. It’s neither good nor bad, just acknowledge it has had some influence. This was such a profound moment for me. My own favorite story was Cinderella. I loved the glamor and the magic of this story. It has indeed been imprinted on my psyche. So I took it apart to see the different themes that ran thru my life. Then I began to rewrite the story as an affirmation. I don’t want to live outdated programming that is toxic. It has been a powerful exercise. I highly recommend it. It costs you nothing to ask yourself these questions and then to sit for a bit and re-write it.

As a child my story was Cinderella, as a teenager it was Pretty Woman. Imagine that! Same fucking story!

The negative, if you are in slavery a nice rich man/prince will come pull you out of it, validate you and you’ll be living la vida loca! It’s pretty disempowering.

The positive, you are magical and beautiful despite what you have been through. You should fight for your place in the world and who says those hard working girls in poverty don’t deserve a fabulous night out! I could go on and on. I am looking at what this story taught me about my strength and power and also how did it limit me. Please try it. Maybe at your next dinner party? My partner does this thing where you tell her your favorite ice-cream and she “reads” it. Tells you all about your inner most thoughts via the ice cream flavor analysis. I make her do it at dinner parties for fun. Maybe you can do this one instead.

My deep Cinderella thoughts:
Cinderella endures loss, grief and there is plenty of misunderstanding of who she is. A total loss of loving parents and her identity. When faced with darkness she remains noble, hard working and humble. She endures oppression, scarcity and rises up eventually because the shoe fits. She has secret animal friends that love her and she’s good at finding joy and love wherever she can. Then she’s tricked into thinking she can attend the ball. It’s a cruel trick! I remember those cruel tricks played on me in childhood. Do you have those too? When I was all open-hearted, in my vulnerability and then it turned into feeling humiliated.

Cinderella lost her identity: Her name was changed because she had to sleep in the fireplace to keep warm and she was always dirty.
My name was so difficult for people to say as a kid I remember always feeling like my name was from another world.

I loved the fairy godmother part. In her darkest hour she has an angel that appears. When I was abandoned by my traveling companion in a foreign country because I wouldn’t have sex with him at the age of 19, I had my first experience with angelic help. It enabled me to tap into an inner strength, to hold my principles and self love in place as I navigated my way home to the US. I was scared. And when my mother died (I was 23), I asked a dear friend if she would be my GodMother. Her name is Maria and her home became a safe haven when I left my abusive husband at 26 years of age. Maria’s home, like the dress Cinderella wore that evening, had an expiration date and soon I needed to make my own place in the world. I had two wonderful women Marci and Theresa that both lent me money to pay for that divorce. This is my Cinderella story. My fairy Godmothers have been there for me.

The part about the shoe fitting? The glass slipper? That’s the incognito part of my life. People often think I am younger and not very wise when they meet me. I have a history of not being seen. (I bet you can relate.) This Cinderella story influenced my incognito part. She shows up at the ball and no one knows she’s really a total badass, they think she’s a “lady”.

When I was pregnant with my second child, two new acquaintances were chatting with me about being pregnant and being a mother. They offered unsolicited advice for about 45 minutes. All the while they have never asked me if this was my first child. People just see me and assume I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing. It happens to me ALL the time. (I’m almost 40 and it still happens.) I listened kindly and reflected back to them their own experiences, until they felt thoroughly seen and heard. Suddenly one of them realizes, they never asked me if this is my first child. I answered, “This is my second, I have a nine year old.” They were shocked as they both had one child under the age of mine. So if anything they should have been asking me questions. I have learned over the years to let people think whatever they need to think about me.

I know you might be reading this and thinking, ‘But you are Liliana Barzola, I come to you all the time for advice. How is it possible the world doesn’t see you?’

I refuse to fall into the game of proving myself. Aren’t you tired of this old trick? I am.

It used to make me sad. Now it makes me laugh. It’s funny to me. I embody the goddess and I know it. That’s all that matters at this point in my life.

Recently, my partner and I walked into a New Age shop full of crystals. A very arrogant woman at the counter treated me like I had no idea what I was doing there. She felt spiritually superior and made it known to me that she was full of intuition and magic and that I was a measly muggle. I said nothing and just let her feel her spiritual superiority over me. When we left my partner was furious. ‘She has no idea who you are! That’s like Michael Jackson walks into a music studio and some kid behind the counter starts giving him music tips. WFT!?!?’

I am a polar bear and she is a kitten. I don’t need to roar unless there is danger. People see my light and are threatened. I feel for them. That’s not for me to teach them. I’m off of work. If someone thinks I’m a boring and one dimensional that’s fine with me. They can make an appointment to work through their insecurity.

So what is your version of your favorite story? How has it influenced your life?If you want to play around with this project I made you a worksheet click here.

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How do you get inspired? Sometimes inspiration strikes us, spontaneously occurring in unpredictable places; words scribbled on the back of a worn receipt you’ve been carrying around for months. Or is it a song lyric, a quote you heard on a Love: Requited Podcast episode? Maybe it’s an auditory memory during a rainstorm, or an echo of genuine laughter originating from the mouths of your dear ones, perhaps a savory meal.

Staying inspired does NOT need to feel like an accident or a burden but rather, with participation in our Joan of Arc Series. Staying inspired can re-claim it’s rightful place as after hours entertainment! Lotus Lantern Healing Arts invites you to expand your post 5 o’clock horizons, to go beyond mid-summer’s familiar outposts of netflix and romance novels. Click here to sign up now!

We want to give you a little taste with this video. We discuss the power of nature, ritual, love and pleasure. Get it while it’s hawt! Click here to watch!

One Participant Says:
I loved the blend of Liliana and Bri’s teaching styles, both of which are spiritual and thought provoking in different ways. The information, stories and meditations have helped me feel supported during a difficult work transition.

Who the heck is Bri Condon and why do I care? She’s an executive coach, entrepreneurial wizard and parent coach.
She has been a program director, operations manager and an executive director for a variety of agencies. Recently she broke ground in the State of Oregon. By creating opportunities for teens in foster care to surf the Oregon Coast. Bri Condon has worked inside and around DHS Child Welfare programming in Oregon since 2008. Bri holds a B.S in Outdoor Education focusing on struggling populations as well as a Masters Degree in Risk Management in Adventure Programming.

Click here to watch a video about Hearts On Fire: Surf Project 2017 for Oregon Teenagers in Foster Care.


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